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Thread: Funny Sh** Put Em Up

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    PBN Charter Member JACKOFF's Avatar
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    Funny Sh** Put Em Up

    Harry brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 PM after work.As soon as his wife realizes what’s going on she goes ballistic. Begins yelling at Harry as his friend, totally startled, just sits on the sofa taking it all in.She screams, "What the hell is wrong with you Harry? My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are dirty in the sink, I'm still in my sweats, I've got my period, and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the hell did you bring him home without warning me? "Harry says, "Because he's considering getting married!"
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    PBN User Dron01's Avatar
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    ImageUploadedByPowerboat Nation1389818483.594393.jpg


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    PBN Charter Member JACKOFF's Avatar
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    Wobble likes this.

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    PBN Charter Member JACKOFF's Avatar
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    I Guess Since None Of You Guys Like This You Already Fell For It !!!
    Quote Originally Posted by JACKOFF View Post

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    hook'em and DurasII like this.

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    PBN User emilsr's Avatar
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    The funny thing is, Jesus is probably a stocker at our local Wal Mart.
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    PBN Charter Member JACKOFF's Avatar
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    Sydwayz, Slandrew, Dron01 and 1 others like this.

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    PBN Charter Member hook'em's Avatar
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    Man stops gator attack with a small Beretta pistol


    This is a story of self control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed man with a small pistol against a fierce predator. What is the smallest caliber that you would trust to protect yourself?

    A Beretta Jetfire testimonial.

    Here is his story:

    While out walking along the edge of a bayou just below Houma, Louisiana with my soon to be ex-wife discussing property settlement and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft. alligator suddenly emerging from the murky water and charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive. If I had not had my little Beretta Jetfire .25 caliber pistol with me I would not be here today!

    Just one shot to my estranged wife's knee cap was all it took. The gator got her easily and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace. It's one of the best pistols in my collection! Plus ... the amount I saved in lawyer's fees was humongous compared to the purchase price of the gun.
    Wobble, emilsr, Short-Bus and 1 others like this.
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    PBN User Dron01's Avatar
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    PBN Charter Member JACKOFF's Avatar
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    THIS IS A FRIGHTENING STATISTIC, PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST WORRYSOME IN RECENT YEARS.

    25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness.
    That's scary.

    It means 75% are running around untreated

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    PBN User emilsr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JACKOFF View Post
    THIS IS A FRIGHTENING STATISTIC, PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST WORRYSOME IN RECENT YEARS.

    25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness.
    That's scary.

    It means 75% are running around untreated
    I just told that to my wife. Hopefully the swelling will go down soon.
    JACKOFF, Jeff P31, Dron01 and 1 others like this.

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    PBN User Shah Mat's Avatar
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    JACKOFF, carter38, hook'em and 3 others like this.

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    OU812IC likes this.

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    PBN Charter Member INDAWIND's Avatar
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    That's some funny s-it there !

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    Wobble, CC.001 and KRBoss252 like this.

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    PBN Charter Member hook'em's Avatar
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    Duck walls into a bar and hops up, "got any bread". Bartender says, no bread. A few minutes pass, " got any bread",.......no bread man. Couple seconds later, "got any bread", "look sumbitch I've told you three times now, I ain't got no bread. If you ask me again, I'm gonna nail your fuggin beak to the bar"
    So the ducks says, " got any nails". Bartender: NO, duck: got any bread.

    Man it's late and I'm lazy. Cheers bitches.
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    PBN Charter Member JACKOFF's Avatar
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    This One Is One Of My Favorites Who Thinks Up This Stuff ? dog.jpg

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    PBN Charter Member JACKOFF's Avatar
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    A man escapes from a prison where he’s been locked up for 15 years
    He breaks into a house and inside, he finds a young couple in bed.
    He ties him to a chair. While tying the wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
    While he’s in there, the husband whispers over to his wife,
    “Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He’s probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years.
    I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain. Do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!”

    She responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he’s gay, thinks you’re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too.”
    Biggus and legshow like this.

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